It's sometimes unreal to think that you can have as much of God as you want. Think about someone that to you seems so close to God and they just seem to be super tight with Him. You can have even more of a relationship with God than that. He has so much of Himself to reveal. So much to Him that so many people don't know. He loves us. No love that you know in a human sense can compare to the love that He loves us with. There's no way to measure it. There's no way to comprehend it. But the more you press into seeking God's face; asking Him questions about Himself, about how much He loves you, what He wants you to do that day, who He wants you to talk to, little things He reveals to you... the more you seek Him and find it out, the more your life will be changed and the more joy you will feel.
For quite sometime I was living in a place where I felt like a film was covering me. I couldn't see through it, I couldn't feel anything but I wanted to get out of it and I knew that outside this "film" would be a better life. My life was transformed from darkness to light when I chose to dive into God and lay down the things He was asking me to lay down at that time. Obedience. I can never stress enough how important obedience is. You will be miserable until you do what He wants you to do. And what He wants you to do is something that will only better yourself! Just do it! It's worth it! Nothing compares to knowing you are walking where He is leading you. God doesn't change His mind. If he wants you to do something, and you don't do it, He's not going to give up, change His mind, and find something else for you to do. He's pretty much not a quitter and He never changes. So unless you want to run around the mountain 3 or 4 times, give in and surrender to the Maker and Creator of all life and make yourself a bond slave to Him.
Be obedient because you love Him, not because it's a chore. Seek His face to know, not because you should. Live a holy life because it's necessary, not because religion tells you to. Remember that He loves you, and nothing in this world, I mean NOTHING.. no drug, no relationship, no high, no amount of money, no NOTHING compares to the presence and the fulfillment of God. Stop searching and look up to Him. He's just waiting for you.. He has so many adventures He wants to take you on.. live life. Not this carnal life, but live life with Him. He will make it worth it!