Friday, November 21, 2008

The waves are crashing.

I feel completely jaded. Carried away with the waves and washed up on shore. Over and over again. I leap into the ocean and find myself being tossed onto shored along with the jelly fish and seashells. All they do is exist and lay there. Probably from exaustion. Trying to resist the natural currents pushing them out of their water onto dryer land. I'm tired of being tossled in the waves, I want to ride them. I want to be in sync with the rapid motions of whistful serenity. That's what life is all about...

My life has been just very that lately. My heart feels as if it continually gets trampled on. My mistake is where I've been placing my heart to begin with. After so many years, so many heartaches, and so many bad decisions, one would think they would keep their heart in an iron box with a lock on it. I suppose I do in a sense. I keep the wrong part in the box and let the sensitive vulnerable side have the side of the box with the breathing hole.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm tired of jumping in with all I am and all that I have just to turn around and be washed up again, broken hearted and bruised from the crashing waves. Guard your heart. Protect it as much as you can. I understand more and more why the Bible clearly tells us that. There's obviously things we can't avoid from happening but we can hide ourselves under the wings of the Almighty loving and wonderful God. I want to ride the waves, not be carried away by them.

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